A Note on Fear of Judgement
Fear of judgement is one of the most common fears we hold. We often ask ourselves, what might other people think? It’s a sensible question. This fear of judgement is reasonable.
It’s important what other people think of you because our survival depends on it. If people perceive you as a threat, then you might be treated as a threat. If people perceive you as ugly, then you might be treated as ugly. People are judgmental and with judgement comes unfair, often unjust treatment. Nobody wants that. In most extreme cases, it can affect our very survival.
And so we learn to conform to societal norms. We put on the makeup & the suit. We please the crowd & dress to impress. The social validation from others feels good. We often depend on that validation. Different cultures prescribe, or validate, different ideas & social norms. What’s weird in one place can be celebrated in another. There’s tremendous safety & comfort in playing it safe, in pleasing the crowd.
As people, we are social creatures. We want to know what our parents think, what our friends think, and what strangers think, because well, that matters. Learning, even “self-confidence,” most often happens socially. It’s impossible to gain that “self-confidence” without learning it from others, one way or another, first. Confidence seems to grow over time, as a result of positive feedback. Keep going, or stop.
And so we care. We care what other people think. We care about judgement. The issue comes when we care too much. When we fear too much. When that fear is so consuming, it may prevent you from doing something that is actually good, such as asking that pretty girl or handsome boy on a date. Excess fear holds you back from the growth & love we seek most.
Fearing judgement so much that it holds you back from growing is an understandable, and relatable, problem that we at dork dancing are working together to overcome.
We fear judgment, just like everyone else, because how you perceive us matters. But it doesn’t matter too much. We are choosing to care less.
We fear FEAR more than your judgment, because we understand THAT OUR FEAR holds us back from living more authentically & experiencing what we love most. We can’t fault you for judging. But it’s easy to fault ourselves for caring too much what you think, and thus being inauthentic.
That’s why we are out on the streets, publicly dancing like dorks. We care more about tackling fear & advocating for a cause more than passing judgement from those who may be critical.